Steve Harvey said to keep going… I can’t seem to ever catch a break!
2021 has come to a quick end. At least it feels like it has been quick to me.
“To this day I still have moments where I have pain, or dreams, or memory flashes that I feel the terror of what I went through again.”
I have not written for Medium in quite a while. Part of this has been because I’m in the process of writing a book. A book about my testimony, which in the year 2021 has completely changed the direction in which it needs to go, after spending 3 weeks in the hospital, 2 of those weeks in a medically induced coma. While there is a lot I don’t remember because I was of course unconscious, my mother did a great job of keeping a journal of that journey in my life.
In October of 2020, I wrote an article about a quote from Steve Harvey where he says, “If you’re going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?” At that point in my life, I already felt like I had been in, and gone through hell. I had dealt with being diagnosed with several different health conditions including Hypothyroidism, Diabetes, AVM, and was recovering from the AVM still, dealing with getting seizures under control so I could go back to living a semi normal life. On top of this I was trying to figure out and establish a new career path which I was still trying to figure out what that looked like.
For the last few years, I have lived in a constant state of an overwhelming, emotional, physical and spiritual journey. By the end of 2020, going into 2021 I was finally beginning to feel like I was accomplishing the establishing of a new life, a fresh start.
Fast forward to April of 2021. I had been at a new job that I was offered with a local Christian Radio Station for less than a month. When suddenly I wasn’t doing to well. My stomach was enraged in pain, and I honestly felt like I was super sick. At about 2AM in the morning I was hurting so much I had a gut feeling that I really needed to go to urgent care but did not feel safe that I could drive myself there. At the time I lived right next to the local fire department, so I called 911, and they came and took me to the hospital within just a few minutes.
If you want to learn more details you can check out that journal that my mom started during all of this situation, as well as follow me here on Medium so when I’m ready to release my book you can get all the nitty, gritty details. To keep it simple though I had developed severe Pancreatitis, and this led to kidney failure, liver issues, and I became delirious, and I believe I was told violent from the situation that I had to be sedated, and eventually placed into a medically induced coma.
Fast forward to when I woke up, I of course couldn’t believe that I had been in a coma for two weeks, I was terrified, and it was a traumatic experience. When I finally got to go home, I struggled to relax for a while. To this day I still have moments where I have pain, or dreams, or memory flashes that I feel the terror of what I went through again.
The year, 2021, I have spent in a constant state of recovery, operations, and having to do my best to remain focused on God through it all, even though I have been beyond angry with Him at the same time. I have been miserable physically, emotionally, and spiritually and yet somehow even with the anger I have dealt with, I have managed to remain faithful to Him. Not 100%, I have been far from perfect in my walk with God, but I still know HE is the one above all else!
By the time I release this article it is into 2022, and I progressed from Physical Therapy after having shoulder surgery only four months after escaping the near death of the Pancreatitis, to working with a Personal Trainer in strength rebuilding, losing the fat I need and want to get so badly rid of, and rebuild my overall endurance, and better myself. Of course now I feel guilty because I really should have gotten a workout in tonight as part of my program with the trainer and I failed too, which means I have no choice but to do one tomorrow (which is a Friday) and another on Sunday so I will have at least worked out twice which is what the trainer stated I really needed to do outside of my once a week with them.
Steve Harvey Said: “If you’re going through hell, keep on moving!”
Moral of the Story: I’ve had a lot going on, and it would have been so easy to just quit, give up, and end things. The temptation was certainly there! I’ve been through so much what feels like hell in the last 8–10 years of my life I feel like I am in a non-stop state of exhaustion physically, mentally, and spiritually. I never stopped though, I kept going, even when it was the last thing I wanted to do.
There is no perfect answer in how to keep going, what will motivate you, or give you the energy or the strength. For me it is my relationship with God and the Holy Spirit My family, especially my mom who has literally carried me at times to keep me going! My friends who have stuck by me, prayed for me, and been so understanding and caring even when others abandoned me at my weakest points.
My amazing current, and former coworkers as I had just transition between places of employment when the worse happened and not only was my current job, and coworkers who have since become family supportive, caring and a crucial part of my spiritual defense, but also my previous coworkers who were supportive in their hope, and faith that I would make it.
The supporters of individuals I don’t even know and am still meeting to this day. Working for a faith-based radio station made it amazing how many people, young and old have been praying for, and supporting me through everything. Which reminds me I need to finish (or more like start) some letters… *Adds to Siri’s reminders*.
To my dreams and goals for myself, that kept me away from choosing to quit, and give up because I believe and know that with hard work, I can and will be better!
I have a lot to do, and a lot to accomplish, and I will be writing a lot more content here on Medium, as well as on other platforms both in non-fictional, and fictional forms! I am excited, and you should be excited for yourself too!
If I got this, YOU GOT THIS!
