Why I need to keep a stricter schedule!
It isn’t easy…
I need to be a lot more strict with myself, and create boundaries that I set with others, even when they don’t like it.
Especially since being back home there is a ton more distractions that keep me from being the level of productive that I was when I lived by myself.
The fact is I am making progress, but truly I’m not making it fast enough in my mind. I am a perfectionist, and I am a control-freak. (Though I have met people who take both of those elements to a all new level that is like trying to face a nuclear bomb with a crowbar.) I have a high level of expectations for myself and it has been difficult to realize I can not always reach the level of expectations in which I have for myself because I have, and need to maintain the process of taking care of myself first.
For example: I wanted to write an amazing essay for the final of my Introduction to Graduate Level Psychology. I believe that I could. It was due Tuesday Morning at 1:00AM CST. My goal was to write the majority of the paper on Saturday, so that Sunday and Monday I could focus on fine tuning, and correcting it. Because of some health issues, I was not able to do anything more than a basic outline, and the reading for my paper and spent almost three hours Monday night writing the essay itself. I also could have stayed up all night to write it, but I knew I had to work the next morning and needed to be able to rest so not to increase the level of health issues in which I have dealt with already.
The moral of the story was I had to set my expectations, and accept the fact that in that moment I could not meet them. I believe I will get a good grade, but I don’t believe I will get a perfect grade. I need to be okay with this. Now what I need to do is examine the situation I faced, and had to make changes in order to deal with, and learn from it in order to do better next time.
It is okay to want to do the best, but don’t judge and destroy yourself because you didn’t accomplish it, learn from it, and make changes to become better.
“We are our own worst enemy, but once we conquer ourselves, we are stronger than ever.”
P.S. This is not by far what I would consider a perfect article, but I want to be more consistent in writing, and releasing, and so I have to start somewhere, learn from it, and grow from it.